Come on Eileen, too loo rye aye.
Now you're all grown.
Now you have shown.
Oh Eileen.
Said come on Eileen, too loo rye aye.
Come on Eileen, too loo rye aye.
Now I must say more than everthings won't ever change.
I said too rye oo rye too rye oo rye aye.
Verge on dirty.
Oh come on Eileen.
Come on--
What are you doing playingarmy on a Sunday morning?
You're missing "Grange Hill."
TA is no game, Tim.
It isn't the TA, Mike.
It's the Rough Ramblers.
Ah, you're a civilian.
You don't understand.
You're thinking it's Sunday,I'd rather be in bed.
Yeah, and you're thinking, it's Sunday,
I'd rather be in "Apocalypse Now."
Well, that's easy for you to say.
What are you doing later on?
That's classified.
Well, why don't you comeround, because I'm bored.
I can't.
I come back canoeing,and I need to Eskimo roll
with a two-stonerucksack on my back while
holding a loaded rifle.
They don't have rifles inthe Rough Ramblers, Mike.
Hand grenades?
No.
- Anthrax? - Mike.
Listen, Tim.
I've got to go.
Looks like we're moving out.
Roger Bravo, Tango, Alpha.
BOY: Come on, Mike.
- Hey!
Danny Kendall's about to die.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, you're right.
That is better than when Jeremywent into the swimming pool
to retrieve Fay's necklaceand suffered a brain embolism.
Bronson's got to pay.
Tim.
Tim, Bronson's got to pay.
He's got a toupee!
Is it OK if I bring the bike in?
It's just that I've seen yourlandlady's curtains twitching.
She's got the look of a bike thief about her.
What, aging female divorcee?
What's she going to do, sellit to buy Jacob's Creek?
Don't get snarky with me, mate.
That bike's my eleven.
Not like you, pretending tobe some struggling cartoonist,
poncing off of a steal bydecent taxpayers like me
who fund your drink problem.
I wouldn't mind so much, but you seem
to be having such a shit time.
But anyway, I was just coming back from a club,
right, passing by your gaff, and I remembered,
you owe me 20 quid.
Daisy, this is Tyres.
He bikes my drawings around for me.
Tyres, hi.
Yeah, Tim told me he had more than one friend.
I didn't believe him, but here you are.
It's the Village of the Damned!
Are yous two, um?
What, hand?
I don't--
Are yous two an item?
No!
No, no.
That's-- no, well, no, Daisy's not like that.
That's-- that's funny.
That's actually funny.
No, we're just-- we're just mates, isn't we?
We're chums.
Get off me.
Oh, I see.
Yous are, uh, "friends,"
Yeah.
Did you want a cup of tea, Tyres?
Ah, I couldn't eat a thing.
My stomach's like a walnut.
Can't you even have tea?
No, no, no solids.
Something orange?
Uh, water?
Water, OK.
TIM: Hello?
What, already?
All right.
Well, we'll see you later.
Who was that?
Oh, it was Mike.
Apparently he just nearlydrowned himself doing an Eskimo
roll at Rough Ramblers.
He put too many pebbles in his rucksack.
Last time I seen Mike, he was on "Crimewatch."
Oh, no, no.
That was a case of mistaken identity.
Police had his housesurrounded all last week.
No, this is about two months ago.
Oh, yeah.
That was him.
So, uh, what did you do last night?
Last night?
Last night was A-1, tip-top clubbing jamfer.
I was a sandwich of fun on ecstasy bread,
wrapped up in a big bag like disco fudge.
It doesn't get much better than that.
I just wish sometimes I could control
these fucking mood swings!
So what did yous two, uh,friends do last night?
Oh, we just stayed in, didn't we?
Had a laugh, played Scrabble.
TIM: Leap.
Six-- seven-- six.
Live, or live.
TIM: Shazam.
It is a word.
It is a word!DAISY: What does it mean then?
I've got a pile of comics this big.
DAISY: What's it mean, then?- Captain Marvel says it.
What's goo?
It's a nonsense invented word!
You're only doing that so you can use z.
Take it off, Tim. - I swear to God.
DAISY: It's not a word.
Pro-V. Pantene Pro-V.
TIM: You can't have Pantene Pro-V!
Goo.
It's shampoo.
It's the ingredient in the shampoo that makes
the hair silky and smooth.
It's a word they made up tomake shampoo sound important.
You're so naive.
I cannot believe-- and Pro-V isn't a word!
Fuck!
What?
Well, the last four lettersthat you threw at me spelled
fuck. - Hmm.
What do you think that means?
I see.
So you skipped the sex part andwent straight to the Scrabble?
I can't get my head around this, uh,
platonic inter-gender relationship malarkey.
It just doesn't seem right to me.
Don't get me wrong, like,I don't mind having a chin
wag with a honey, but I just like to do
it after waggling her chin.Do you know what I mean?
Yeah.
You like to waggle your willy on her chin?
Don't come your post-feministart school bollocks with me,
Sunflower, if that's yourreal frigging name, all right?
I work for a living.
What do you do?
- I write, actually. - Oh, do you?
In other words, you're on the dole.
So anyway, are yous two, uh, friends coming
out with me tonight or what?
BOTH: No money.
I'll lend you the money.
I already owe you 20 quid.
Do you?
No.
Oh look, there's Madonna.- Where?
So we'll see you later, then, yeah?
Oh, cool, right. OK.
I'm going off for a shower,a shit, and a shave.
I'll be back for yous about 11 o'clock.
All right, pack your partybags, people, because tonight's
going to be a large one. All right?
We lucky.
Oi, oi!
What was all that about Madonna?
Oh, Tyres has got a really,really short attention span.
I remember once we-- oh look, wrestling.
- Give him the stick. - Come on, come on.
Give him the stick.
Come on!
Sorry, mate!
MAN: Bastard.
I'm sorry!
God.
I haven't been to a club in ages, you know.
I think we should ask Brian to come.
I don't reallysee Brian throwing shapes
in the church of dance, do you?
Well, he might if we all Twist to come.
Brian and Twist?
Yeah.
Get with the program.
Although Tyres will probablythink we're double dating.
Yeah.
He was funny, wasn't he?
What did you mean when yousaid, Daisy's not like that?
- I never said that. - Yeah, you did.
You did.
He said, do you you two
and you said, no no no, Daisy's not like that.
That's what you said.I just wondered what you meant.
Yeah. I just meant that--
I just meant that you're not like that.
I just don't-- I don't see you in that way.
What am I, chopped liver?
No, you wish.
You're too hung up on your ex-girlfriend
just to even notice the existence
of any other women anyway.
Who said that?
No, I'm serious.
No, I'm-- I'm serious.
I think you've got a big problem.
Shut up!
What do you know about my problems?
You don't know anything about my problems.
Yes, I do.
Half a bottle of Galliano,that's all you talk about.
Bloody Galliano.
No, it's-- it's an obsession, Tim.
It's unhealthy.
I heard you call her name outin your sleep the other night.
Yeah, and how did you know I was asleep?
Well, why would you call hername out if you were awake?
All I'm saying is, I just--
I think you've got a V bigproblem with your ex-G-friend.
Just back off, will you?
What do you care about what I do anyway?
All right.
I was just making an observation.
Yeah, well, don't!
All right?
You don't know what you're talking about.
MAN: Sorry!
It's all right.
So you going to ask Brianif he wants to come out?
Yes.
Are you going to sulk all day?
No.
BRIAN: I can't come out.
We're going out to a club later on.
Do you want to come?
MAN: I don't go to clubs.
Come on, Brian.
What do you mean you don't go out to clubs?
I'm working, Tim.
Working.
Do you understand?
No, sorry.
Got me there.
Trying to avoid cliches by not actually
placing my brush on the canvas.
Wow, right.
Using my penis.
Finally.
Do you want to see?
No, I'm just about to have my tea.
Look, why don't you come out?
I think it would be good for you.
No, it won't.
Twist will be there.
Will she?
I can't.
Huge.
It's a no. - Shh
MARSHA : Money, money,money, it's all you care about!
AMBER : What do youknow about what I care about?
MARSHA : It's morethank you think, young lady!
AMBER : Leave me alone!
DAISY : Oh, I feel for Amber.
TIM : I feel for Amber.
Why you got to play that song so loud?
Because we want to!
That'd be Marsha.
No!
Hi, Marsha.
Hullo.
Sorry about the noise.
Periods, you know?
And her dad left.
I thought he left when she was two?
Yeah, yeah.
She is milking it slightly.
So, do you want a tea?
No, no, I won't intrude.
OK.
Yeah, all right then, I'll have a small on.
OK.
One small tea.
It's difficult, isn't it?
Me and my mom used to row all the time.
I'll just worry about you ifyou stay out later than 10:00.
Try to think about my feelings.
Oh, all right.
Bye mum, love you!
Bye, dumpling!
Love you, too!
Oh yeah.
She used to go ballistic.
She'd say, you're not going out!
And I would say, yes I am.
Oh, it was a nightmare.
She was just so unreasonable.
Oh, for God's sake.
She was just worried about you.
No, she wasn't.
She was scared to face a life without me so she
tried to stop me from growing.
Oh, that is soself-obsessed, as if everything
revolved around you.
She was probably looking forward to you going.
All she wanted to do was showyou somebody cared about you.
If she'd wanted to do that, then she
could have bought me that pony.
Yeah, that's what it boilsdown to with you lot, isn't it?
Money, money, money.
It's all you care about.
But what do you know about what I care about?
Well, a lot more than you think, you lady.
Oh, leave me alone!
Have you got any biscuits?
How is she?
The fiberglass on theouter case-- it was severely
damaged in the incident.
What happened?
Shoving off, Tim, with like 15 rocks
in my rucksack instead of the regulation five.
I knew something was wrongwhen I got her in the water.
She was sitting so low, so low.
But I didn't stop, Tim.
15 rocks in my rucksack, and everyone knew it.
So what happened when you rolled?
I lost control of the vesseltwo feet from the shore.
As I struggled to righther, I landed in the jetty,
damaging the canoe's carcass.
The Ramble leader had to dive in and rescue
me from beneath the canoe.
So it wasn't so much an Eskimo roll,
it was more a case of rolling right Inuit.
Inuit's another word for Eskimo.
I've been thrown out, Tim.
And my family doesn't want me anymore.
Come on, come on, come on.
I've got to face it, Tim.
I'm not the big man, not the leader.
No one's ever going to look up to me.
I feel like such a failure.
You're not a failure, Mike, you're not.
OK?
You're-- you're too good for them.
They're not ready for you, you know?
You're a-- you're a-- a renegade.
You're a soldier of fortune.- Yeah.
Like the A Team.
Yeah, you're like Mr. T, but white and hairy.
- I am, aren't I? - Yeah.
And I feel sorry for anybodythat says you're not.
- I pity the fool. - I pity the fool.
I ain'tgoing on no plane, sucker.
Stop that.
Sorry.
I'll never be in the realarmy, though, will I?
No.
Because of what happened?
I know Mike, and I'm sorry,but this was a long time ago.
I haven't let you down since, have I?
No.
And I never will.
I know.
Come here, you bit twat.
Excuse me.
Just a second.
OK.
Mike!
Oh.
Cheap Dutch lager for the lady?
No thanks.
Oh, thanks.
I'm a special diet.
I have to eat like a bird.
What, like this?
Tic-tic-tic!
Where's Brian?
Yeah, Tim, where is Brian?
His own arse.
TWIST: You don't like him?
I do like him.
I'm just not sure why.
How are you, Mike?
Yep.
That's a well-fitted body warmer, Mike.
It's a life-jacket.
Have you been yachting?
I've been all-terrain rambling.
It's a kind of off-road rambling.
It comes in all forms of outdoor pursuits--
walking, canoeing, killing.
Killing?
No, no.
No killing.
Maybe you should take the jacket off now.
He will when he's ready.
You coming out tonight, Mike?
Oh, I don't know.
I don't really go out much.
I haven't got anything to wear.
Oh, come on, Mike.
Come on.
Let's all go out.
Let's get dressed up and go out.
You know?
We'll be-- we'll be like a gang,like a group, like an army.
Yeah.
Try this on
Hey, is this mine?
No, that's mine.
I'll let you borrow my clothes.
Why would I want to borrow your clothes?
Ugh.
Oh, you look fantastic.
Too tight?
BOTH: No!
It does look really good.
Maybe you could tie somethingyour waist, you know, if you.
BOTH: Feel a bit self-conscious.
The style's a bitfeminine, don't you think?
BOTH: No!
Of course it's too feminine.
It's a girls' top.
Get away from him.
Mike, don't let them dressyou up like a giant cock.
I had to dress up as anelderly Israeli woman once.
Did you?
I didn't have to.
We should talk.
Is it too much?
BOTH: Yes.
No.
DAISY: Oh, hi, Bri.
Can I use your video while you're out?
What are you going to do,stick it to a canvas as part
of a piece to pitch in a societypopulated by cathode junkies
selling their imaginationsfor quick-fix media hits
from the blockbuster syringe?
No.
I want to record "Ready, Steady, Cook."
OK.
So you're sure you don't want to come out?
No, I don't go to clubs.
Oh, why?
Um.
I just don't.
Get that, will you, Mike?
So, uh, you've packed the party bag?
Yes, two fresh jumpers, two fresh t-shirts,
two woolly hats.
All right?
Look, mate, you chunky lad.
Saved any small countriesfrom terrorism recently?
Nope.
So I like a soldier thatminds his own business.
Way-hey!
You lucky people!
Who's this?
Uh, that's Brian. He's not coming.
All right, Brian? Why are you not coming?
TIM: Well, yeah, Brian, why aren't you coming?
DAISY: Yeah, why aren't you coming, Brian?
Brian, it won't be the same without you.
Brian please.
TIM: Come on.
DAISY: It's going to be fun.
I don't go clubbing.
MARSHA: Hullo, everyone.
Oh, hi, Marsha.
Hi, Marsha.
You all going out?
ALL: Yeah, except fro Brian.
Looks like it's just you and me then, Brian.
I'm going to put my coat in the cloakroom.
Yeah, take mine, will you, Daisy?
Will you take mine too?
Yeah, there's no point inus both queueing, is there?
Oh, thanks very much, little lady.
Who wrote the music?
What?
Who wrote the music?
I'm sorry.
I can't hear you.
What?
I've got to dance!
Let's weave!
Hey listen, uh, listen, I'mreally sorry about earlier on,
snapping at you.
That was so out of order.
I'm really sorry about that.DAISY: No!
It was-- no, no, no.
No, it's fine. It was fine.
It's good. TIM: Yeah, is it?
It was good, yeah.
We're on another level.
Well, yeah, I know we are, because you know,
we can snap ate each otherand it doesn't matter.
And it's not a problem, it's not an issue.
You know what I mean? - It's beneath us, yeah.
Yeah. TIM: Yeah, yeah.
Because I like you. I do.
I like you.
You know, I just like living with you.
It's fun. You know?
You're so talented, you know?
You're going to be--you're going to do so well.
- You are! - So-- no.
You are. No, you are.
You are. You're so good.
No. DAISY: You're so good.
You're such a good artist.- Am I?
I am, aren't I? DAISY: You are, though.
You're so good. - I am.
I am. - You know?
You're going to be fine.
We're both going to be fine.We're going to do well.
Yeah.
We're-- we're going to do so well, and when do,
we'll get a big house on Hampstead Drive,
and we'll have-- we'll just get a room
in the house and we'll have our own club, yeah?
We'll have a club, andwe'll get all our friends.
Yeah, yeah.
And we'll be like king and queen of club land.
Yeah, it'll be brilliant.
You and me.
Yeah, you and me.
TYRES: Hey!
Terribly sorry.
I didn't mean to interrupt.
I was just wondering if you two friends
would like to come and join the collective, hm?
Eh?
Come on.
I'm sorry I left you in the queue!
Oh that's all right.
I had a great time. Where's Mike?
BOTH: Where's Mike?
Where's Mike?
Yeah.
He's over there.
TYRES : My work here is done.
Ooh only for the, only for the, only
for the hardcore UK raver.
Havingit live, having it laser.
Having it live, having it laser.
Rewind.